I’ve just upped and left a job.
I won’t hide that it’s a toxic place and I probably added fuel to the fire. Still, it was an almost stable job and I felt like I was doing something semi-worthwhile, even if I struggled somedays… Scratch that, most days.
But ever since I’ve severed ties, I find myself dwelling on thoughts that I’d kept buried. I guess freedom is a plague to the ever overthinking mind.
Even my dreams are tormented by crossroads, figurative and literal (never knew that incorporeal crossroads would drive me mad). I have a hard time falling asleep because I know I’ll wake with an unforgiving well of sadness even as a I blink sleep away.
I’m trying. I really am. I know this is meant to be a break so that I can restitch all the pieces of me but still. I can’t help the sinking sensation of stagnation. Of stopping when everything else around me is swayed by time. I’m watching seconds, minutes, hours tick by while sitting.
And I can’t help but be unsettled.
wordsareweightless 