Musings

I’m a self-serving idiot who dislikes another self-serving idiot.

All I can see is my own pain and compare.

The years that span between us versus the time I knew you.

I’d choose to save a relationship that’s (supposedly) meant to last.

I can’t help but hate you for trying to encroach on that.

I said I trusted you. And I did, I do, to an extent.

Until you uttered the words that I didn’t want to hear.

Because I can’t help but feel that you are being self-serving.

I don’t know if it was done in pure defense or if I’m another self-serving idiot.

But I hurt.

Because of your words. That may not even be true.

I agonise. You’re putting me through hell. I don’t know what to believe.

It seems like you’re pushing all the blame onto me. And I know why.

You like her. You want to save her. That means you’re serving your interests by hurting me instead.

Here’s where things get tangled and messy.

I know her. I’ve known her for longer. I don’t know if you’re trying to weaken the two of us. I don’t know what’s the truth and I don’t know the faces of a lie.

So maybe… maybe I don’t really want to trust you after all.